I wrote this at the start of the year, intrigued and inspired, yet bored and waiting for my plane to take me home from Sydney.
Frail and humble, a woman with endless years of life under her belt, eyes that have seen endless sights, ears that have heard endless stories, a heart with the experience of a lifetime suddenly but subtly inspired my mere 20 years.
It doesn’t take a blind eye or taught discipline to recognise or help the elderly/simply someone in need. Struggling up the trains shallow stairs, she caught my eye. Whether I was the first person or last to notice instinctively I was to her aid. All it took was a hand up the stairs and guidance into a seat, half a minute spent humanly. She was thankful and gracious. Sweet and sincere, a tender soul. There was a seat vacant in front so I smiled, spoke “my pleasure”, rested my little bum and long legs in the claustrophobic seats and went on with my day.
My stop approached, grabbed my things, checked the time and of course I was late for my meeting. Slightly in a panic I got out of my seat and as I stood up I felt a hand comfort my shoulder. I turned around to my new influence and her words spoke - “you’re a gorgeous boy soon to be a handsome man, a gentleman already. I want to tell you to never say no to love. Do not be like me and wait around for it or say no, learn it, because next thing you’ll be 70 without someone to share your life with. Find love, share your life with someone, you deserve it”. I comforted her closest hand in my hands, absorbing her emotion, I thanked her.
That was it for me. I explained how late I was and then parted from the stranger.
It was a moment I did not want to break. It was a moment that has brought light to many things. It is a moment that has created questions and for those questions I am to answer.
The power of our actions have such a powerful impact to lives we aren’t aware of. The apparent impact I had on her life has evolved to be an impact and influence on my life.
And that, I think, is a beautiful thing.
Another dumb tale of taking a step in someone else’s shoes we shouldn’t need to hear, or live, or think about.
We’re deceptively selfish and ignorant to our bones, to ourselves, without realisation. Not in extremes but to the smallest of things.
I tend to be thanked for my selfless character and often I do find myself arguing with greed - growing up my father was one to always emphasise the importance of giving, caring, sharing and putting others first. Once I understood his point it soon became an instinct.
I found myself a little down in the dumps today, being in a big city with more fingers then friends became overwhelming (not having a sook - the people I’ve met here are by far the greatest). Solitude I appreciate, but it’s hard for me to deal with when it becomes excessive. Constantly having only a few bucks to my name doesn’t help, or having all the time in the world as the only thing I have.
I (self(i)sh) went to the op shop down the road to find winter clothes, take this shit off my mind and get on with my day. When you do something to take your mind off of something, well it never fucking happens and we all know that. A lady came in with her husband - she was brittle, soft spoken, humble in a chilling way, her presence spoke of a heartbreak, a loss, she was broken. She approached the owner of the op shop not the volunteers - a sign of a connection, her fragility spoke about the phone call she made earlier on in the day about the passing of her mother last night. She was simply fulfilling the wishes of her passed mother. The little assets the mother possessed was to be donated. I soon learnt all that she knew and all that she had was this little family run shop and the love and happiness she had for her family, the shop and her life in general was far more powerful than whatever it is we search for, wealth or success, or the two together.
It was one of those situations that allows us to take a step back, recognise what we have, who we have and appreciate the two. A big kick in the bum to stop feeling sorry myself when my life is fucking great. After all, time does run out at some point.
Thank you for the kind words. Sorry I haven’t been writing on here lately, I’ve gone back to pen and paper as I’ve relocated and now don’t have isolation. I’m enjoying the purity of writing to myself and have been finding a lot more optimism within myself. Will start posting my writing on here again!
Fuck yeah. Message to all you lovers I STILL FUCKING LOVE YA